"The Big Picture"

This is a quick look at Alexis, the teenage girl whose response to "Tell me why you, love you" stood out among almost 50 emails....


I spent the day with Alexis, including hair, make up, photo shoot and finally dinner. She is an absolute joy to be around. She is a Sophomore in high school yet has the soul of a grown woman. Here are a few photos from our "You Love You" shoot, including a few reasons why Alexis says she is happy just being....her.

I have an amazing ability to listen to people and make them feel comfortable to talk to me.

 

I like my hair color, my big brown eyes (that 
 sometimes for no reason change to hazel)

 I love that I am cautious where my heart is concerned. It takes me a long time to "love" someone or to make good friends but when I do it is unconditional and forever.

 

I love my obsessive need to always be on time.

My long legs.

I love my passion to help others. 

Final Thought:  Alexis is only 15 years old and has the wisdom of a 70 year old. She isn't going to let people, or the world tell her she can't be herself. Women everywhere live their lives letting things they can't change, or erase make them feel less than what they are really worth. Our scars are our story, and our story can only be written by you. Step outside of you and look at your "Big Picture". 

*Special thanks to Alexis and her mother for allowing her to be a part of my madness, as excited and proud as you all were, this warmed my soul as well.*

"SCARS"

I know my blog is called "Why God Made Me Funny" and most of my blog posts are at least mildy entertaining, this one will not be. I want you to know a head of time that this will not be a funny post. I am a multi-dimensional person, that has many layers. One of the reasons I think that I CAN be so funny is my way of looking at things. What someone might see as a normal trip to Wal-Mart, I can see as a horrific injustice to mankind...it's just the way I am. This blog post talks about breast cancer, women, scars and my outlook on these things. This is a raw look inside my mind, and my soul.  I hope you continue reading. 

A couple of months ago I saw a link on Facebook called "The Scar Project". I clicked the link and immediately became mortified by the images of these women. These women had been mutilated to save their lives. Cancer had came into their bodies and the only choice was to take a scalpel and cut deep into their flesh. I won't get on my soap box about cancer research and how I feel like so much money is wasted on other things in this world. We put a man on the moon, we should have a cure for cancer...ok, maybe a small soap box.

Tears streaming down my face, I clicked on image after image, after image. These women, mothers, sisters, aunts, friends, and wives bearing their scars for the world to see. Photograph after photograph of their story. These photos telling the silent struggle these women went through in order to save their lives...then...I thought of the other scars. The ones we can't see. The scars on their hearts, the scars on the hearts of their loved ones. The deep scars, that no one can look at and gasp at the tragedy. Scars women of all ages carry around with them their whole lives. Even as young girls we are injured with words, leaving scars that only we can see.

Are these scars any different? Not really, only these scars we can hide. There is no proof of the internal scars and they can be buried deep within us, only being shown to our closest friends, if ever seen at all. Sometimes as women, we are hurt by words and it leaves a lasting bruise on our heart. When were we taught that it was ok? Being talked to inappropriately by men, treated poorly by peers, not standing up for who we are, and the hell it took us to get there. My scars are deep, some are small, some are large, some fresh and some old. Every scar on the outside has a story, and so do the scars on the inside.

A lot of people frown on women who are confident. They look at you as "cocky" or "arrogant" when the truth usually lies in THEIR insecurities, again.....scars. I love me. I love my scars. I love that I am loud, funny, OCD at times,  I wear my heart on my sleeve yet I am the master of keeping my emotions in check, I act tough but never want to hurt anyone intentionally, I am still struggling with my appearance, and I am harder on myself than I need to be. Those things make me..."me". It's ok to love "me". When you love yourself, AND your scars, insecurities, strong points, and weaknesses, you can grow and learn about yourself. You can start to heal from the inside. My scars are my truth, MY TRUTH. Some self inflicted, some inflicted by others, but they are all mine.

After my minor "scar meltdown" I decided I wanted to do something to bring this thought to light. I wanted to take some photos of a young woman that loved herself. True beauty is when "You Love You", which in turn prompted another idea. I decided to have women, who were my friends on Facebook, e-mail me why they loved themselves and in return they would get a free photo shoot highlighting just that.

The response was amazing. I have had so many wonderful women email me, most directed their "self-love" to reasons of being a good mother, good person, Christ follower, but one in particular stood out. I fell in love with this response....

"I will stand up in the face of adversity and build a life based on what is right for me. Using confidence in myself and a firm belief that I have a light within me that will brighten if nothing more a small corner of this world and make a difference for someone. And knowing through it all that my life in it's successes and failures was mine alone to make." -Alexis




Final Thought:

Alexis is 15 years old...This is what it is all about. Love you, be you, insist others love you and take nothing less in return. Make YOUR light shine. Whether you live in a small town, a big city, the country, or island in the Bahamas, shine. Never be afraid, your scars are you. Be YOU, be proud of what makes you, you. When women stop being afraid of what really lies inside of them, and start loving themselves for who THEY are, they will shine from the inside out. SCAR- Stay Confident And Real. Let your scars heal...and SHINE!

* A special thanks to "The Scar Project" for the inspiration for this post. The photos and women are beyond amazing. If you want to learn more, or purchase the book featuring these brave women, click the link below.

http://www.thescarproject.org/exhibition.html 

Pork Fritter to Fruit Salad in 3 Easy Steps

Those of you who know me personally, know that I have struggled with weight my entire adult life. I've been chunky, tubby, lean, muscular, fat, frumpy and average. I have tried every diet out there to lose weight. I didn't have Daddy issues or a bad thyroid or asthma, I had lazy ass. Yes, a case of serious lazy ass. I wanted a magic pill to make me thin, tone and tan...ya...that didn't happen.

About a year and a half ago I decided I needed to make a change. After reading Eat, Pray, Love and watching Dr. Oz on Oprah (and the heart palpitations that landed me at a cardiology appointment, but the other crap sounds better) I decided that I if I wanted to live a long, healthy, active life I would need to make a change. So, I did.

First thing, stop smoking...well, I didn't want to gain a ton of weight so scratch that.

First thing, lose weight...well, I couldn't do a lot of exercise because of the weight and the smoking so that isn't going to work.

First thing, ANYTHING....portion control, maybe just eat less? 

So I started with eating small amounts all the time. Constant snacking. That seemed to control my hunger enough I didn't want to put salt on my stapler during the day and devour it in silent shame. I kept that up for several weeks, just trying to account for everything I put in my mouth. "You are what you eat" is the saying, and I was tired of being a deep fried, southern style piece of pork. This might just work...


Several weeks went by and a few pounds dropped off, so I started walking some and lifting some light weights, all of which I despise but participated in non the less. More weight came off, a pound here and a pound there. Fall came and I had lost about 30 lbs, which sounds like a lot but trust me I was quite the lard ass and it was barely noticed by my peers.

I went to the gyno earlier that year for my pap and had decided while I was there I would ask for Chantix, a stop smoking pill, just to try it out. Six month later I decide to get it filled. The courage to get rid of a 17 year crutch was a little overwhelming. I filled it, and took it as directed, no strange dreams, no homicidal thoughts (or more than normal I should say), no suicidal ideations, mainly just extreme nausea if I tried to smoke. Chantix is a 6 month program that I, being an over achiever, completed in 3 months. October 17, 2009 I smoked my last cigarette.

I get asked a lot if I miss smoking. I'd love to say no, but truthfully, I think about how nice a cigarette would taste sometimes. Then, I remember the first time after I quit smoking that I could smell my hair, the smell of my hair was intoxicating. The smell of honeysuckle and my deodorant, my Cinnamon candle, pizza, lots of things I'd not truly smelt in almost 17 years. That in itself has been worth quitting.


Here I am almost 2 years later and I have lost 65 pounds, stopped smoking, stopped biting my nails (just to see if I could), stopped drinking sodas twice (that one I can't kick) eat healthy, and exercise regularly. It's sounds like a big accomplishment but the truth is I had to work hard to reverse what I alone had done to my body. "I" had started smoking at age 13, "I" had gained weight to the point it was unhealthy for my 29 year old heart, "I" had stopped working out or caring for my body. What seems like an accomplishment to most, seems like a correction to the damage I had done to this wonderful body I was given. To me, I was righting my wrong.


Final Thought:
People say "it's what is on the inside that counts" and that's true in lots of ways. Inside, is also your heart, lungs, kidneys, brain and all the other stuff smashed in there to make you, "you".  I try not to congratulate myself too much, or put myself down either. I strive to keep a good balance of healthy living and honest indulgence when the need hits me. I'm in no way perfect and I am a constant work in progress. Every person is different. Every body is different. Everyones body is a result of their decisions. You can be a deep fried pork fritter or a fruit salad, the choice is yours. Some days I'm a chicken nugget and some days I'm a piece of chocolate but EVERYday, I'm taking responsibility and NOT making excuses.