Monday, August 16, 2010

Here goes nothing!

So, as you can see I have decided to "blog"! I am not sure how to "blog" or if it is something I can even remember to keep up with. I have a Facebook, Twitter, two e-mail accounts and now I have decided to put my A.D.D into overdrive by adding a blog! I, am a glutton for punishment.

So the title of this blog site is..."Why God Made Me Funny", which is something I have asked myself many, many times in the past. I have a gift, it's my only gift, but none the less, it's my gift...I make people laugh.
I feel that we are put on a path at birth and along this path we are to learn, meet people, strengthen ourselves mentally, spiritually and physically until God decides he wants us back...God thinks my path is funny, apparently. If it can happen, it probably has, and to me. I have the WORST luck...OR (as I like to look at it) the best "re-tell" experiences.

I started sharing some of my day to days on Facebook about a year ago and people actually "liked" them...literally! I stated getting comments and posts that told me how funny I was, it's nice to know that people were even reading it, much less liking it! I figured if people thought my one liners about swamp ass and boob sweat were funny, they would really like some of the full length stories that never make it to Facebook!

Bottom line is this...I started a blog to tell people stories to make them laugh. I don't think I am better than anyone, funnier than anyone, smarter, prettier or anything else you people can come up with. I am just me...that's all I have ever been or will ever be. I will be sharing funny stories, family moments and over using commas from here on out...I hope you all enjoy!


bsmith said...

I love you Jamie and not just because you're funny...but it helps.

Barb said...

Having the gift of making someone laugh or smile in today's world is one of the best one can have as far as I'm concerned, so you are very blessed! I know ur dad is also very funny, so it has been passed on to you, just use it for the encouragement & lifting the spirit/s of urself & others. Take care

Anonymous said...

Great stuff!

Anonymous said...

I love it! I could HEAR every word you wrote!

Momma Jo

Annette said...

problem solved...i have to use IE to post. Can you change anything in your settings to allow comments from Firefox?? (I don't use IE anymore due to all the viruses.)

Awesome blog, btw. You're on your way my friend and you know what i mean. *wink wink

Luke said...

Can't wait to read some stories. Just FYI...I posted with Firefox.

Anonymous said...

I for one am THRILLED. Your Twitter comments are hilarious, and this blog is off to a phenomenal start. I added you to my blog roll b/c the three people who read mine will like your's too. - Wendy

Anonymous said...

The gods tempt people for which they are most weak. Artificial Intelligence will create desire in people's minds for the following sins:::
1. Alcohol
2. Drugs
3. Preditory "earning"
4. Homosexuality
5. Gambling
6. Something for nothing/irresponsibility (xtianity)
7. Polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny (Islam)
Much like the other prophets Mohhamed (polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny) and Jesus (forgiveness/savior), the gods use me for temptation as well. In today's modern society they feel people are most weak for popular culture/sensationalism, and the clues date back to WorldWarII and Unit731:TSUSHOGO.
It has been discussed that, similar to the Matrix concept, the gods will offer a REAL "Second Coming of Christ", while the "fake" Second Coming will come at the end and follow New Testiment scripture and their xtian positioning. I may be that real Second Coming.
What I teach is the god's true way. It is what is expected of people, and only those who follow this truth will be eligible to ascend into heaven as children in a future life. They offered this event because the masses have just enough time to work on and fix their relationship with the gods and ascend, to move and grow past Planet Earth, before the obligatory xtian "consolation prize" of "1000 years with Jesus on Earth" begins.

Your job as a future mother is to learn the god's ways and to help your child understand despite the negative reinforcement and conditioning of today's society. Without consciousous parents the child will have no hope, and may even exaserbate their disfavor by becoming corrupted in today's environment.
Your ultimate goal is to fix your relationship wiith the gods and move on. You don't want to be comfortable here, and the changes in Western society in the last 100 years has achieved just that.
1000 years with Jesus is the consolation prize. Don't be deceived into thinking that is the goal.

The Prince of Darkness, battling the gods over the souls of the Damned.
It is the gods who have created this environment and led people into Damnation with temptation. The god's positioning proves they work to prevent people's understanding.
How often is xtian dogma wrong? Expect it is about the Lucifer issue as well.
The fallen god, fighting for justice for the disfavored, banished to Earth as the fallen angel?
I believe much as the Noah's Flood event, the end of the world will be initiated by revelry among the people. It will be positioned to be sanctioned by the gods and led for "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".
In light of modern developments this can entail many pleasures:::Medicine "cures" aging, the "manufacture" of incredible beauty via cloning as sex slaves, free (synthetic) cocaine, etc.
Somewhere during the 1000 years the party will start to "die off", literally. Only those who maintain chaste, pure lifestyles, resisting these temptations, will survive the 1000 years. Condemned to experience another epoch of planet's history for their ignorant pursuit of xtianity, they will be the candidates used to (re)colonize (the next) Planet Earth, condemned to relive the misery experienced by the peasantry during history due to their failure to ascend into heaven before the Apocalypse.
Never forget:::It is not a house of Jesus.
If this concept of Lucifer is true another role of this individual may be to initiate disfavor and temptation among this new poulation, the proverbial "apple" of this Garden of Eden. A crucial figure in the history of any planet, he begins the process of deterioration and decay that leads civilizations to where Planet Earth remains today.

Now you are faced with a lifetime to work and prepare for your next chance. Too many will waste this time, getting stoned, "Hiking!", working, etc.